There's No Place Like Home

Due to the current financial climate and recession, it has become necessary for some families to move in to one home.

Whether you have moved in because you were the one in need of a place to go or because you are trying to help out a family member/friend in need of financial assistance, the sentiment is still the same: you feel like an interloper.

When you have a roof over your head, you are among the fortunate. You know where you are going to lay your head. You know where your things are... sometimes. But having a roof over your head is not the same as having a home.

It is hard to move from your house where you've established your own way of living with your own set of rules into someone else's home where your rules become all but invalid. Doesn't matter if it's a family member or a friend; it doesn't matter if you've known the person for years. When you move in with someone else, you are moving in with someone else. No matter how long you stay, it will never feel like home because you now have to take the other person's feelings and thoughts into consideration. You have to worry about if you are leaving enough of something; you have to make sure that you don't touch the "untouchable". Then, of course, there are the seemingly forever changing rules.

Regardless of who moves in with whom, one of the people (if not both or all parties) essentially becomes "homeless". The person who is helping you out or whom you are helping out loses his/her privacy. The person's house is no longer their home. Even if you can live contently without reason for a blow-up, you will still feel some uderlying animosity because you have lost your "home" (the helper and/or the helpee).

All that being said, try to be considerate to everyone in this situation. Remember what they're giving up and what they've lost. It's not an easy situation to be in, but if you put yourself their shoes for a moment, it might make things go a little easier.

Sentimental Fool (A work of fiction)

I am a bleeding heart; a big baby; a wuss.

I don't sit around all day and think about the "what could have been" or "what if", but when I do, it really brings me down.

When you look back on your life, you can't help but take notice of all the mistakes that you've made. Well, I should say that I can't help it. It's like your worst-case scenario of PTSD (post-tramatic stress disorder). I re-live the mistake and the pain that I felt then... and now.

Friendships and loves lost, never to be regained. At least not at the original fever pitch. They say that when something breaks, it heals stronger. Is that really true? I mean, when a person breaks a bone, don't they always feel an approaching storm? So, how can the "stronger" adage be true?

Tonight, I thought about some of the people that I've lost. Relationships that even if I could repair them, they will never be the same. It is best to live your life without regret, but I can say with all honesty, that I am not known for doing what's best for me. I am not sure if I miss my friends or if I miss the friendship that we shared. Seeing someone that you used to know and now when you see him/her or talk to him/her, it's as if your choking because the air becomes to thick.

I look forward to the day that my heart doesn't stutter-step whenever I think of the people that I've lost; the friendships never to be recovered; the love never to be restored. But for now, I just sit and reflect; contemplate; re-live that moment when it all went south; wonder "what could have been" and "what if". If only I'd been clairvoyant; could've seen that the road that I chose back then; the words that I was going to say; the decision that I made was going to lead me to this place where every once in a while, I stop, look back, sit down and cry over all that I have lost.

The Old Catch 22

I love a good Catch 22; I hate a good Catch 22. Just kidding.

I was trying to think about a good topic for my blog today. I came up with a great discussion on how some people who are vehemant in their beliefs and thoughts will argue without end to beat into the head of another their views and beliefs. Personally, I think that this is wrong. I think that everyone has a right to their own thoughts, views, beliefs, etc., even if I don't agree with them. Then the thought occured to me. By writing such a blog, aren't I doing the very thing that I am condemning?

I often feel strongly about or against things, but I try to remember the other side of the coin. For instance, I am against same sex marriages, but I have homosexual friends. I do not believe in abortion, but I can understand why someone might choose to have one.

I'm not sure exactly who coined the phrase "CATCH 22" (although I'm sure it would be easy enough to Google), but he/she had something there.

So It Begins...

I am no great mind of the 21st Century. The random thoughts that fly haphazardly through my mind are probably of no particular interest to anyone other than me. Sometimes, even I'm not interested. The good thing is, though, that I am ready to spring on any topic at any given moment.

It is nice to have a place where I can write down some of the things that pop into my head, if for no other reason than to clear up some space. I am a non-stop chatterbox who doesn't always have an audience. Even when an audience is available, I am more like to try to tell them to run for cover as my mouth overrides its off switch.

Anyway, feel free to take the journey into my mind. It may not always make sense, it may not always be fun, but it will always be interesting.